goal setting and self-grwoth
Have you ever tried to better yourself and ended up feeling worse? You start with good intentions—maybe a podcast, a new planner, or a fresh morning routine. But suddenly, you’re buried under all this information, not knowing where to actually start, plus the pressure to do everything perfectly. I know what you mean.
Self-growth looks like a perfect picture on the surface, but when you start to take steps toward your self-growth journey, it can actually feel quite the opposite—not what you were expecting. It can feel heavy, messy, confusing, and full of uncertainty.
And sure, beautiful things do happen in this journey. But what we don’t often hear about is the other side of it—the part that feels messy, heavy, and chaotic. To be honest, it’s part of the process, believe it or not.
So, if you’re feeling overwhelmed right now, let me say this clearly: You’re not doing it wrong. You’re doing it honestly, openly, and with intention. Whether you’re just starting your self-growth journey, exploring who you are, or you’re still trying to figure out, “What is even self-growth?”—you’ve landed on the right blog post!
This post is for you if you’re wondering what self-growth even means, why it feels so heavy at the beginning, and how to take your very first steps forward—without spiralling.
So let’s pump the brakes and bring it all the way back to the beginning: What is self-growth, really?
Your version of self-growth might look nothing like mine—and that’s exactly how it should be. We’re different people with different needs, experiences, and ways of navigating the world. Naturally, our paths will be unique.
You might be wondering, “Why break down self-growth like this?” Honestly? That’s a fair question. I’m not here to hand a one-size-fits-all answer. I’m here to offer a mirror—a reflection from someone who’s been walking this path for quite some time now. I share my experiences so you can reflect, find clarity, and take what resonates for your own.
Your self-growth journey is about uncovering who you are, where you’ve been, what you’re here for, and where you want to go next. It can feel like a heavy set of questions—but that’s the heart of true growth: exploring who you are beyond the surface.
From the goals you set, to the routines you try, to the tools you use—every piece plays a part in your growth in a way that’s personal and meaningful. And if it feels a little unclear, overwhelming, or messy sometimes? Please know this: you’re not lost. You’re on the journey itself.
That’s exactly what self-growth is: learning to navigate the unknown parts of yourself with patience and honesty. Think of it like walking a foggy path with only a small lantern in your hand. You might not see far ahead, but every step you take lights up just a little more of the way. That’s growth.
From all the information you’ve absorbed, you’re trying to rush the process of growth, and that’s making you feel overwhelmed, confused, scattered, and mentally burnt out. I know it’s hard not to listen to the advice of others when it seems like they have it all figured out. But the truth is, going back to what we discussed earlier, growth looks different for everyone. It’s important to observe, become aware, and not get so consumed by it.
I remember especially in the beginning of my own self-growth journey, when I was much younger. I used to be so amazed by others who appeared so confident and loud. I would look at them in awe and hope that I wanted to be like that. Little did I know, when I started my growth journey, it came in the form of spirituality and meditation.
I always thought growth—or good self-development—meant being loud and dominant. I forced myself to try to be like that, but each time I knew that wasn’t the way for me. Instead, it was the practice of silence, being grounded, gaining self-awareness, and being intentional with my choices. So, clearly, the very opposite of loud and dominant.
Pick one area of your life you know you can focus on. This could be your career, your studies, your hobbies, the relationships in your life, or a passion project. From there, dive in a little and ask the deep questions:
“What is it about this thing in my life that I want to change, shift, pivot, or feel about it differently?”
Then, ask yourself: “how can I move forward? What is one small thing I can do right now to create momentum?”
Because sometimes it’s hard to start internally or pinpoint what we want to change internally, so we need something from the external to pinpoint the areas we want or need to work on within ourselves.
From just that one area, two important things will begin to unfold:
That small, simple decision process creates clarity, focus, and movement without the unnecessary distractions of worry, stress, and fear. It guides your next step—and then the next. And that’s a huge win. You can follow the same formula in different areas of your life—just by choosing one area and diving deeper into it.
Here’s what most people don’t know: Self-growth has no deadline. No schedule. No finish line. No timer counting down in the background. It’s a forever-evolving path. And yet, so often, we unknowingly put pressure on ourselves—rushing to find answers, rushing to “fix” what feels unclear.
But trying to force self-growth into a timeline is like trying to predict which way the wind will blow tomorrow. It doesn’t work that way. I wish it did! Growth unfolds naturally—one experience, one lesson, one brave choice at a time. The slower you go, the deeper you grow.
If you’re just beginning your self-growth journey—or if you’re standing at the edge of it, feeling a little lost—I created something special for you: The 5-Day Self-Growth Mini Journal. It’s a gentle way to help you reflect and begin your journey without all the pressure.
Because you don’t have to do it perfectly, you just have to begin.
Welcome to your space for real self-growth. I’m here to support you as you grow into your most authentic self.
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About me
A few years ago, I found myself overwhelmed, searching for deeper meaning. My curiosity about the world often left me with more questions than answers. As I moved through different seasons of life, I started connecting the dots and gaining clarity on who I am and what I wanted in life.
One pivotal moment caused me to pause, reflect, and ask myself: What does a fulfilling life look like for me? Embracing that realisation sparked a life-changing commitment to personal growth, which ultimately led me to create By Raina L.
Let’s do this thing called ‘growth’ together!
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