Mental and emotional wellness
In this post, we’ll explore the process of letting go of the past and how it can free you to embrace a future filled with clarity and peace. You’ll find practical insights and gentle reminders to help you release what no longer serves you, so you can move forward with intention and self-compassion.
Letting go of the past can be one of the hardest things we ever do. Whether it’s the sting of old mistakes, the weight of toxic relationships, or the haunting memories of missed opportunities, the past can often feel like a shadow that never fades. I’ve been there, too. And I know how it feels to be stuck, thinking that moving on will never be possible. The truth is, letting go of the past is a process, and you might already be taking the first steps, even if it doesn’t feel that way. So, remember, it’s okay to take your time. Let’s walk through this together.
If you’ve ever tried to let go of the past and felt like you’re failing, I want you to know that you’re not alone. Struggling to release what no longer serves us is all part of the healing process. Sometimes, it can feel unbearable; other times, it might feel like you’re just getting by today—and that’s more than good enough. The key is to give yourself the time and space to process what’s rising to the surface without hiding from it, feeling ashamed, or judging yourself.
It’s all part of the process.
Our mistakes, relationships, and past experiences shape who we are, and letting go can feel like releasing a piece of yourself. But building confidence and fully embracing your power can make this process easier because you learn to trust yourself through the tough moments.
Maybe it’s the lingering regret of a decision you can’t take back or the ache from a relationship that ended too soon. I’ve felt that too—the weight of emotional baggage. It’s exhausting. Sometimes, it feels like you’re carrying a heavy backpack filled with pain, guilt, and fear.
It’s okay to feel this way. Healing takes time, and you’re not failing just because you’re still holding on. So, be gentle with yourself—this isn’t a race. It’s a process.
Letting go starts with awareness. Before you can release the past, you need to understand what’s keeping you tied to it. Is it the person, the situation, or the emotions attached to it? Sometimes, we don’t even realise we’re holding on because the pain, anger, or grief has become so familiar—it feels like a part of who we are.
Ask yourself: What’s the heaviest part of my past? Journaling for self-reflection can help you unravel these emotions, giving you clarity on what needs to be released.
Looking deeper into the root of your pain can reveal whether you’re holding on to a past version of yourself—one shaped by an old mistake, a painful relationship, or a story you’ve outgrown. But here’s the truth: your pain is something you’ve experienced, not who you are. Acknowledging that difference is the first step toward freedom.
The hardest part of letting go is accepting that not everything gets closure. There will always be things you can’t change—whether it’s a relationship that ended without explanation or a dream that didn’t come true. But here’s the thing: healing doesn’t mean everything needs to be fixed. It means finding peace within yourself, regardless of what happened.
I remember a time when I had to let go of a lot of family and childhood trauma. I didn’t get the closure I needed to heal—or at least the chance for someone to hear my side of the story. It left me suffering in silence, with so many unanswered questions, aching for the answers I desperately wanted.
For the longest time, I held on to the belief that “maybe things could improve or there could be some kind of mutual understanding.” But eventually, I realized that sometimes people don’t want to change—or maybe they don’t even see the need for it. I had to face this reality and learn to accept that this might be the way things were meant to be.
It was a tough decision, but I had to make it: even though I couldn’t have the closure I thought I needed, I needed to choose to move on. I had to find a way to let it go, to continue the healing process in the best way I could.
Healing didn’t require me to have closure from them—it required me to find peace within myself, with the trauma I had experienced, and create my own sense of closure.
A simple mindset shift that helped me: Healing doesn’t mean forgetting or getting lost in the pain. It’s about building resilience, facing those difficult emotions, and searching for deeper meaning and understanding—with gentleness and compassion—while navigating the healing journey, even if it feels one-sided.
And to be completely honest with you, I’m not sure if I’ve completely found peace with certain situations from the past. But what I can tell you is that I do feel like I’ve overcome a lot of childhood trauma that once felt like an impossible mountain to climb. That mountain now feels more like a small hill that I can now step over.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that guilt, resentment, and regret are like chains that keep us anchored to the past. The hardest part can be forgiving yourself for the mistakes you’ve made or the situations you wish you could change. Overcoming that constant stream of negative self-talk is an important step in releasing the harsh judgments we’ve been holding against ourselves.
But here’s something truly powerful to remember: You don’t have to punish yourself forever. Self-forgiveness is freeing. Holding onto guilt doesn’t help anyone—it only keeps you stuck in a version of yourself that doesn’t even exist anymore.
You’ve grown. You’ve learned. You’ve evolved. And you’re allowed to let go of those feelings that no longer serve you.
Resentment? It doesn’t hurt the person you’re angry with—it only weighs you down. Imagine how much lighter you’d feel without that anger constantly holding you back.
Regret? It can be one of the hardest emotions to let go of, but what if this experience wasn’t here to break you? What if it was here to teach you something you needed to learn so that you could become the person you’re meant to be?
Letting go of these heavy emotions isn’t about forgetting what happened—it’s about freeing yourself from the weight that’s been holding you back. When you release guilt, resentment, and regret, you create space for healing, growth, and the possibility of moving forward with a lighter heart.
Now that you’ve started to release the past, take a moment to ask yourself: Who are you becoming as you let go? You are not your mistakes. You are not your pain. The person you are today is someone who has learned, grown, and evolved. Look at how far you’ve come—that alone is a testament to your strength.
Take some time to journal about the person you want to become. What parts of your old self are you ready to leave behind? What new, empowered version of yourself are you stepping into?
If you’re feeling unsure, use these journal prompts as a great place to start. They’ll help you build the foundation for the new, brighter you:
Reflect on the person you are becoming as you let go of the past. What characteristics or qualities have you discovered in yourself during this process?
Think about the parts of your old self you’re ready to leave behind. Which aspects of your past do you want to shed, and why?
Imagine the empowered version of yourself. What does she look like, feel like, and do differently?
Remember, letting go isn’t a one-time decision—it’s a daily practice. Some days will feel lighter than others, and that’s okay. There will be setbacks, and healing will take its own course. Be gentle with yourself, and remember, there’s no specific timeline for healing—only what feels right for you.
And here’s something important to carry with you: You are worthy of peace. You have every right to move on. Moving forward doesn’t mean forgetting—it means choosing freedom from the pain. You deserve to step into a future where you feel lighter, stronger, and more aligned with who you’re becoming.
Letting go of the past may not always be easy, but it’s a journey that’s worth taking. You are allowed to heal, and you are allowed to let go. With each step you take, you’re reclaiming your power and paving the way for your future.
Now is your time to release what no longer serves you and step into a life filled with clarity, peace, and new possibilities.
If you’re ready to talk about what’s been on your heart lately, I’d love to hear from you. Sometimes, taking that first step can be the most powerful act of healing. Reach out anytime—I’m here to listen.
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A few years ago, I found myself overwhelmed, searching for deeper meaning. My curiosity about the world often left me with more questions than answers. As I moved through different seasons of life, I started connecting the dots and gaining clarity on who I am and what I wanted in life.
One pivotal moment caused me to pause, reflect, and ask myself: What does a fulfilling life look like for me? Embracing that realisation sparked a life-changing commitment to personal growth, which ultimately led me to create By Raina L.
Let’s do this thing called ‘growth’ together!
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